Sweet

You must first be
who you really are,
Then do what you need
To do, in order to have
What you want

by Margaret Young

How is life treating you?

Life how funny it can be at times. I have been so busy lately trying to manage with my new job, and apt. I love the apt. although right now it's still a bit empty. I didn't want to live with a room mate, but for now and for me that was a good choice. She is a nice girl, although a bit g.h.e.t.t.o haha, but it's ok. My new job, being a personal BITCH, that's what it really is takes a lot of my energy. In order for me working for my new boss I have to take those crazy boring tests, which I am tryingto study for, but really can't focus. But hey I need to so I will have too!

So last weekend Maddis was here. She moved back to Sweden. Smart choice she is such an intilegent female and kind of wasting her time in the Bahamas. It was so nice to spent time with her. So I am siting here right now in my office, (yes I have an office now) on the floor with my laptop on my lap, and still in my cozy robe. So many things are going through my mind. Last night after having friends over for dinner I went out with some friends to a loft party. It was Liz's friend's album release party. What a handsome guy! I have to say his music wasn't all that good though. While sitting at a table for a few mins. sipping on my wine I felt like i was in a trance. I was just taking in all the beauty of those people. So many beautiful people are ou there, it's just amazing! It must be hard for a guy to actually pick and choose from all that beauty, or not? SInce I am single I think about that a lot. Anyway, Nil the handsome guy grabbed me and we just left. Thank you!!!

A lot of my friends are spread all over this world, but are now going back to Europe. Why am I still here? I know that I am not that happy over here anymore. A lot of it has 2 do ith Maddis leaving on thursday. After I took her to the airport I started to cry. Jen you are 2 much!!!! Although she has been living in the Bahamas for quite some time now, it's weird knowing she is going all the way back to Sweden. The only thing why I came back into this country was my Ex, who totally fucked me over! So now I am here with no family, no boyfriend and most of my close friends moved away. I guess I am at a low point right now in my single life. It's not that I want to be in a relationship right now, not at al, but I do want some1 to be there, that is not that selfish and not just wants to want sex from me, the good friend with BENEFITS.

It's gping to be ok again, I know that. This is nothing I have been through so much this year, and am really so impresed with how I handeled it.

Ok it's time to take a shower now and get outside to enjoy the beautiful weather.

I have to say, Mommy it is a beautiful feeing to have yo with me all the time, ha I am talking about my little Rose tattoo.

This is what happened

Right now I am sitting at my old desk covering for a co worker of mine. Las Thursday I was promoted to the personal assistant of our commercial underwriter. She is a sweet person, but I feel like her bitch!!! Jen…Jennifer…Jenny…Jen, that’s what I hear nonstop. I really haven’t relaxed this whole last week. I just moved, got a new job, plus school, I am mentally exhausted! I don’t have enough hours in a day, but I will have to get used to it. I love my new apt. ok but the floors. My roommate is a really cool girl, although a bit ghetto for an Italian, haha. Since everything has been hectic I really haven’t done much, besides building together my stupid dresser ( it took me about 5 hours), sleeping and drinking wine. The last few nights I just needed that to calm me down. I have been cooking a whole lot, and it’s fun because there is someone who appreciates it. So I got a phone call from Maddis a few nights ago. I can not believe it but she is going back to Sweden. She just can’t work there without her papers, and she wants to make a reasonable amount of money. So she is leaving her boyfriend behind. How sad, I wouldn’t and couldn’t do it again. I was there before, we where separated for 5 months, and it was killing me, because I didn’t really trust him, plus I had my reasons, and at the end the truth came out, which wasn’t nice at all. It’s all about trust, that’s all I want in a man, but never really had it. And for some reason my ex had problems trusting me, lol but only because he assumed that I was doing the same thing he was. Anyway back to Maddis, so I am going to pick her up from the airport on sat. She is going to stay with me until Tuesday, and then she is going back. I bet it’ll be a miserable weekend with her being really emotional, but I am looking forward to seeing her.

Luciano Pavarotti is heute morgen gestorben

A FIne Frenzy

Apec