My head is going to explode. Yes it has been feeling like this for quite a while. Living by myself ( by that i mean not with a partner) I notice how annoying I can be. My ex would always say, wow Jen you are such a winy person, and I would be like shhhhhh so not true. But now I see what he ment by that. It's good though because I annoy the shit out of myself, and I actually cut back a whole lot!
Hmmm life how intersting it has been this year. Things will be as hard as you make them a friend of mine once told me. And that is a true statement!
Wow I am such a weird person, very interesting!
Too emotional, way 2 deep in thought, caring and just plain weird.
But back to the as hard as you make it part. I look at my life form two different sides lately. One is the Jen, that has it pretty good going on for herself. Very independent female, with a good job, great friends and very realistic about things.
On the other hand we have this emotional wreck that is just overwhelmed with everything, and the littlest things seem to add to it every day.
I need to relax, because I do find a way to make it work at the end.
A really soft spot for me is my mother!
On sunday morning as I was melting chocolate for the coockies I was making I was talking to her. We were chatting about everything and it came to how people always say how cute, sweet, nice, caring and so on......... I am.
I moved away 6 years ago, and I thought/hoped that my moms would feel different about all this. Maybe the thought of me not coming home for the holidays this year had her thinking about it more. But trust me Mutti me not coming home this year for x-mas (tears me up right now just thinkng about it)makes me feel way worse that you could imagine, at least you have pops! It's just me all by myself and prob. 20 boxes of tissues and aspirin for the headache and all of the beautiful memories from the past years.
Anyway so back to the phone conversation. My moms said that for her it's like she lost her daughter. Oh lord that killed me!!! I don't know what the future has in store for me, but I want to do as good as I can for myself before I go back 2 Europe.
Hmmm life how intersting it has been this year. Things will be as hard as you make them a friend of mine once told me. And that is a true statement!
Wow I am such a weird person, very interesting!
Too emotional, way 2 deep in thought, caring and just plain weird.
But back to the as hard as you make it part. I look at my life form two different sides lately. One is the Jen, that has it pretty good going on for herself. Very independent female, with a good job, great friends and very realistic about things.
On the other hand we have this emotional wreck that is just overwhelmed with everything, and the littlest things seem to add to it every day.
I need to relax, because I do find a way to make it work at the end.
A really soft spot for me is my mother!
On sunday morning as I was melting chocolate for the coockies I was making I was talking to her. We were chatting about everything and it came to how people always say how cute, sweet, nice, caring and so on......... I am.
I moved away 6 years ago, and I thought/hoped that my moms would feel different about all this. Maybe the thought of me not coming home for the holidays this year had her thinking about it more. But trust me Mutti me not coming home this year for x-mas (tears me up right now just thinkng about it)makes me feel way worse that you could imagine, at least you have pops! It's just me all by myself and prob. 20 boxes of tissues and aspirin for the headache and all of the beautiful memories from the past years.
Anyway so back to the phone conversation. My moms said that for her it's like she lost her daughter. Oh lord that killed me!!! I don't know what the future has in store for me, but I want to do as good as I can for myself before I go back 2 Europe.
No comments:
Post a Comment